Look Behind Your 5-Year-Old Tantrums And Hitting

Raising a kid is as hard as giving birth to him, especially during the very first years of their lives.

Witnessing your 5-year-old tantrums and hitting must be hard and make you question yourself, haven’t you done enough?

Actually, the preschool period with some emotional and intellectual changes will shape your child’s personality to some degree.

You’ll definitely see some emotional, social, and intellectual changes in him. These signs and how you decide to act in each case are incredibly important in educating him.

Let’s learn about their anxiety and how to overcome this tough period for you and your little baby.

5-Year-Old Tantrums And Hitting – Probable Causes

5-Year-Old Tantrums And Hitting

These are some probable causes that may be happening to your beloved child:

  • Copy those aggressive behaviors from someone around them
  • Insufficient adult supervision
  • Exhaustion
  • Over-stimulation
  • Ineffective speech development
  • Extreme anger or frustration
  • Insufficient routine
  • Reactions to a stressful situation
  • Self-defense

Is it normal for 5 year olds to have temper tantrums? Yes, it is. In their ways of discovering the world and developing their awareness, children tend to express themselves quite clumsily.

They haven’t learned basic skills on how to manage their expressions and intense feelings acceptably and properly.

Once something upsets them, they will try to express their feelings physically until they are satisfied.

In their little minds, such physical forces can change adults’ behaviors and get things the way they want. The consequences of these forces are not included in their thinking system.

With little to no control over their reaction during these scenarios, children let their frustration, hurt, or anger take over their bodies and maybe release unacceptable actions.

Little do they know that letting the intense feelings take control will only increase their upset’s severity, especially because their parents might not acknowledge their demands then.

Children with better education on behavior at a very young age will react differently and might communicate more appropriately.

That’s why it’s best to know what makes them act in such ways and how to solve the problem.

How To Deal With 5-Year-Old Tantrums And Hitting

The very first thing to do when your baby bites, kicks, or hits you is to stop him by holding his foot or hand.

Don’t get mad and yell at him. Tantrums usually means he’s trying to communicate, so try to tell your baby that he needs to calm down and you will hold him until he understands.

Understand & Evaluate

How do I get my 5 year old to stop hitting when angry? By understanding them. To hear is easy, but to listen and understand is another story.

Once you’ve put yourself in someone else’s shoes, you will understand what they’ve gone through and how to solve the problem.

In the course of listening to them, try to find out these things:

  • What is the source of their frustration that makes them want to use physical forces?
  • Is this a sudden or a routine thing?
  • Are your kids experiencing bad health conditions or some source of exhaustion? 
  • Are they copying the bad behavior from someone else or the TV?

Each case will demand a different reaction to the toddler tantrums. If your actions are right, the case is solved easily, and if your assumption is wrong, try another one.

By seeing how you’re willing to listen, they will calm down a bit, knowing they are respected.

Be Calm

The important thing you should always remember before doing anything is to remain calm.

The child will mimic your actions and words, and if you respond to their nasty language with another nasty language, your effort is wasted.

I know it’s hard because you’re suddenly under the attack of your aggressive child’s mean words.

It’s hard for you to stay calm being so angry and hurt. But then, show him how you’re different and let him learn that from you.

Breathe in deeply and understand their actions. Though you might desperately want to teach them lessons on how they should behave, this is not the right time.

They are not in their stable modes and, therefore, would prefer to be understood.

Start by letting them know you’re listening and that they can try another way for you to listen.

If your kids don’t want to work this way, tell them what you see from their actions or ask them the purposes behind the actions.

Another tip here is not to be so direct and stern but polite and strong. Remind them that their actions are wrong and they can’t get what they want by doing so.

You can also tell them that their actions are causing you pain or discomfort since they might not recognize that.

Physically Stop Bad Behaviors

Don’t get this section wrong! You should only physically stop their bad physical behaviors.

Then, How do I deal with my 5 year old’s violent tantrums? Try to stabilize them by holding their feet or hands. Not more than that.

You can also try to firmly wrap your arms and legs around them to calm them down. Let them know you’re not going to let go until they are calm.

If you let go and the child reacts again, do it again and again until they’re good.

Start Listening And Stop Talking

A 5-year-old screaming when not getting own way is not calm enough to hear what you want to say.

Filling his ears with explanations and reasons may push him away from you even though you’re just trying to discover what’s happening.

A piece of advice for parents is to take him somewhere or do something else to soothe him first when a 5-year-old tantrums and not listening.

Let your beloved one have a credible place to vent his anger. Some normal physical expressions are allowed. But again, not aggressive tantrums as hitting parents.

Teach Them Appropriate And Acceptable Behavior

It’s no point telling them not to hit you, but don’t let them know what else they should do or how they should express their anger.

That’s why teaching them how to manage their upset feelings and frustrations is more effective.

You should start this education early, for example when it’s ok to leave the baby with grandparents so that they can be more self-disciplined.

Teach them about their different feelings and how they can ease themselves without having to hurt somebody else.

If their reactions are bad language, teach them how to use respectful ones in such scenarios.

This should only come later in the process when the child is calm and is willing to listen and acquire what he’s listening to.

I know how heartbroken it is to see your adorable baby hitting you or saying bad words to you. But don’t take it personally. This is a normal thing in child development.

Enforce Rules With Consequences

Rules are only effective when those who fail to commit them face the consequences. How do you discipline a 5 year old for hitting?

It would help if you enforced these ideas below; it can help your child understand that it’s not good to break the rules.

  • Time-in or time-out: This one teaches your kids to calm down and soothe the intense environment.
  • Taking away privileges: Though this tactic can’t work to discipline a teenager when having bad grades, it still  shows a promising effect on a 5-year-old. But just restrict their access to toys or electronics for a while.
  • Restitution: If they break the rules, they have to do extra chores or something for you (drawing, painting, etc.) to make up for that.

You can lengthen the list depending on your kids’ characteristics and your preferences. While enforcing rules, don’t forget to reward them sometimes for behaving well.

Don’t Enforce Corporal Punishment

Corporal punishment shouldn’t be a punishment for 5 year-old hitting.

Kids will think that them hitting you is only fair because you hit them too. Spanking is clearly not a good punishment.

Also, they only mimic what they see every day, just like how they learn different things on TV and the Internet. This time, they will learn your negative behavior and re-enact that on you.


Dealing with your 5-year-old tantrums and hitting is not an easy task, especially for anyone who’s only experiencing their first time being parents of children.

This aggression in kids must be new and challenging. Nevertheless, enough care and calmness will help you win this easily!

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